Giving

Yesterday, while driving my husband to work, we saw a homeless man camped out under a tree as we entered the expressway.  I thought about him and many others on earth and especially here in Vermont because it was our first chilly night in a long time.  I thought about the harsh winters here and thought where will this person go? how will they stay warm? how do they manage to survive? How did he get there? was he mentally ill? is he getting the help he needs?  Like many of us who see homeless people, we think about them for a few minutes and then carry on with our day and forget about it.  We know its a problem throughout our city, state, country and all over the world, but we manage to go about our day. On my way to pick up my husband in the evening I thought it would be nice to go get some food and give this man something healthy and warm to eat.  We went to the local market and got some soup, picked out some bananas, apple, orange, pear and a bottle of water.  When we were getting into the car after purchasing these items my husband said to me "Don't be surprised if he doesn't want it!" I got a little mad at him for putting negative energy out there, more like disbelief as if to say "why wouldn't he?". 
We got off the expressway and pulled over, I got the bag of food and walked over to the man who was busy tying plastic around empty cans with string and had various other cans and items all around him.  I said "Hello, I brought you some food to eat"(went to leave the bag on the ground not too close to him to feel threatened or violate his camp)   I had not finished my sentence and he immediately said "NO!" while gesturing to leave, I said "there's warm soup and fresh fruit and water inside" He said"I don't want it!" gesturing again to get out of his space.   I left with a blow to the heart but at the same time, my husband was right.  As mad as I was at him for putting "negative energy" out there, he prepared me for the rejection.  My husband let me sit with this a little and then said "sometimes these people are so content with what they have, they don't want "outside" things to tempt them or desire these things" I thought about this a lot all evening.  I wasn't really upset, just surprised, but I totally understood.  I was not doing this for any sort of reward, or even a "thank you"  I genuinely wanted to help this man.
 In the Bhagavad Gita Chapeter 17 vs 20-21 says: "Charity given to a worthy person simply because it is right to give, without consideration of anything in return, at the proper time and in the proper place, is stated to be in the mode of goodness. But charity given with reluctance, with the hope of a return or in expectation of a reward, is said to be in the mode of passion."  

Lots of people give this way, only to feed their ego, to see their name on a plaque etc. this act was a small gesture but had big lessons for me. 

Later that night a knock came to our apartment door and my neighbour stood there with a plate of fresh apples and a salad in a container. She said "I had too much salad, take some and these are fresh apples"  I laughed inside thinking how magical this universe is, here I was brooding over that evenings escapade and here my neighbour is with a smile sharing her food with me.   I took the food, thanked her and smiled at the beauty of it all.  

Then, this morning my first client of the day arrived with flowers, Eggs and fresh Eggplant, cayenne peppers and a green pepper all from her garden. I again smiled and thanked her and thought again, just how magical this world is we live in.  

So, don't get down or upset if things don't turn out the way you imagined, sometimes there are lessons weaved into the experience.  We need to pay attention to these lessons and learn what our real motives are and keep a clear mind and kind heart at all times.  Show compassion to others, even if you are rejected, keep being your true self and all will be revealed to you. 

Om shanti, shanti, shanti. 

Germination

"With the Ethical Rules and a little concentration, anything is possible" ~ Sri Dharma Mittra


In February, I completed a 200HR Yoga Teacher Training at the Dharma Yoga Center in NYC.  Being in the center surrounded by like minded yogis and especially in the presence of Sri Dharma Mittra, really does "charge" your system.  Sri Dharma Mittra often speaks of the "collective consciousness" and usually says in regards to the Sun Salutations "move together like a parade." It really does make you take a look at your practise.  Are you in a rush? are you too slow? are you paying attention to the person next to you? maybe they have an injury, do you want to wait for them so they don't feel so lost? do you need to push yourself more?  All these thoughts are rushing through my head while trying to "move like a parade" and being mindful of the collective consciousness.   I remember him also saying that "like attracts like" and he went on to say, "if one person rests, one by one, those around that person also rests" and he was completely right!   I notice this contagious effect around me whenever I take a break, and keep telling myself, "get up and push yourself" to help the person next to me also decide to push themselves a little more.   

I completed all the requirements to meet the 200HR teacher training and received my certificate from Sri Dharma Mittra himself on my recent visit to NYC.  It was an honor to receive the certificate but I know the REAL work is ahead of me.  I'm still struggling with many postures, but I know it will all come with practice.  Looking around room in the Dharma Yoga Center, I saw many students at various stages of their practice and abilities.  While trying to attempt a twisting pose, I knew mentally "this is as far as I go" but looked up to see Dharma standing there and put his two fists on his hips and said "you are able to do the pose, but you must be SERIOUS about it!" He came over and helped me get into the pose and guess what? I was able to do it (with his help of course!)  This is exactly what I needed to hear! I like to joke around a lot and it is a reflection of how I go about life, not serious!  But I knew what he meant.  Yoga practice is a serious practice and I must begin to take myself and my practice seriously.   I realize now that with consistent practice and dedication, results and breakthroughs happen in my practice, but I know this is not what yoga is about.  Its not about the results, its about the effort and seriousness you put into yourself and your practice to eventually have knowledge of the true self.   Regardless of where you are in your practice, practice with heart.  So, don't do yoga to look better and become more flexible, do it for your mental well-being, physical health and also to learn more about the true self or the guru within. Do yoga as an "offering to the supreme self".   All the answers lie within, all you need to do is go there and you will see.  We are all in different stages of growth. Don't rush, don't compare, don't judge, just keep going on your own path to enlightenment and you will start to grow and blossom. 

Over the next few weeks, follow me as I begin to get more serious about my practice and see how it grows....

Training....

"Place yourself in others" - Sri Dharma Mittra

Here I am above with Sri Dharma Mittra on the last day of our Yoga Teacher Training.  I really cannot find words to describe the experience and the events over the course of the training.  I know others who might read this have taken this training at some point in their life and some who are thinking of taking the training.   I will speak of my own experiences and not give too much away for those who are still thinking of attending.

I arrived in NYC about two days before the training, having lived in NYC most of my life, it always feels like home to me.  I arrived a few days early to prepare for the training.    I have not attended many classes at the new Dharma Yoga Center location,  it still carries that same feeling I remember when I first found Dharma Yoga back in 2002/2003, the feeling of home, welcoming and warm. I attended a few classes at Dharma Yoga Center as a sort of warm up to the training, just to be sure I'm ready.  Everything felt right, all the doubts and worries I was having about not being ready, slowly melted away on my mat during the 5 Postures for Purification class, it probably DID help that it was followed by an extensive yoga nidra in Savasana, extremely relaxing and felt recharged afterwards.

Training began on Friday, February 19th at 6:45am.  Yes, it was early, beginning the day with pranayama, meditation and followed by discussion with Dharma Mittra himself, who could as for anything better?!  This day was filled with discussion, asana, lunch, meeting new yogis, meeting our mentors, and learning so much.   I felt nervous, excited, happy, glad I was doing this (finally!) and most of all it felt right!

Yamas.....

Image taken from :samopoznanie.ru 

Part of the required homework for the Dharma YTT training, we had to write about the Yamas. There are five Yamas (guidelines or ethical restraints / rules) these are  - Ahimsa (non-violence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brahmacharya (celibacy and fidelity) and Aparigraha (non coveting).  I wrote about Ahimsa because I understood what it meant in a new way.

Ahimsa in particular means "non-violence" and for a long time I understood it meaning -Not killing or being a vegetarian.  I remember reading in Light on Life by Iyengar, he wrote -  “Blood-thirsty tyrants may be vegetarians, but violence is a state of mind, not of diet.”  I'm understanding that Ahimsa is indeed "non-violence" but it is not restricted to our outward behavior or how we treat others.  Ahimsa is also non-violence in your thoughts, words and deeds or actions toward others and yourself. This can be a very difficult practice for many especially when it comes to the self and  our thoughts.  We need to understand first what it means to be non-violent in thoughts/words/actions and then apply this to ourselves, others and our daily activities.  It can be hard to break old patterns and behaviors, but with practice and constantly reminding ourselves (as Dharma Mittra says) to - "See yourself in others."  We can take each day as it comes and continue to change our behaviors. 
I've found that having a regular yoga and pranayama (breathing techniques) practice  has helped me become more of an observer of my thoughts and actions. I'm finding that rather than reacting quickly to situations or events, I have that split second of quiet before I respond.  I'm also finding I'm a little more gentle with myself.    Its almost as if Ahimsa is one of the benefits of regular yoga practice rather than a rule or guideline.  Constant practice in anything will change patterns and it needs to be consistent and done with your heart.  Try bringing the practice of Ahimsa into your life, beginning with yourself.  

Nervous...

All of a sudden, its ONE WEEK away from Dharma YTT in NYC!    I realized after I finished my training at Honest Yoga, it was best if I re-familiarize myself with Dharma's DVD's and prepare myself further for the upcoming training.
I had been familiar with the content of the Dharma Level I DVD,  I had practiced  and listened to all the available options including the Asana workshops, meditation, spiritual discourses and Pranayama. I did not however really ever attempt the Dharma Level II DVD and thought now is a good of time as any to try.  I put on the Dharma Level II and tried the Intermediate Asana practice and what happened over the next hour or so left me VERY worried!  I still cannot get into Headstand (sirsasana-king of all poses) and this was one of the first poses after the series of sun salutations on the DVD.. here I am freaking out that I am so NOT prepared for the upcoming training.  I mean, this is the ONE pose Dharma has said in a previous class I attended "if you cannot do this pose, see a physician!" ....and he continues "OR maybe a shrink!" I'm about to make an appointment with both as I'm finding myself feeling very anxious, nervous and most of all worried!

I had a minor freak-out thinking that I'm not ready, how was I going to do this?  I was still experiencing some weakness in my wrists from the overuse injury and had been avoiding poses that put excessive weight or pressure into the shoulder joint.  Surely with practice and strengthening I can build up to a headstand eventually.  Earlier in April of 2015, I had taken a workshop with another Dharma Yoga teacher Jessica Crow, to build up the confidence and re-wire the FEAR pattern that was so ingrained in my attempts to achieve the pose.  Was it purely ego that was the driving force? or was my higher self/true self tired of being subjected to fear? I think a little of both, but most of all I was determined to break the pattern.  Jessica helped ease my fear and showed me a variety of ways to build up to headstand.  I left there with a better understanding of just 'where' my head needed to be on the mat, what was safe, what was not and most of all...learned that I had a lot of work to do!
 I found the follow-up email Jessica kindly put together for me and I began to review her tips and instruction.  I took what I learned from Jessica and put it into practice.  Little by little, I practiced walking my legs up the wall and was feeling the pressure on the head and neck and began getting used to it.  I still was not ready for full headstand.

Like the Bhagavad Gita says above, I feel I need to offer myself some kindness and be modest or "Temperate" with myself and the journey. .  It will not happen overnight, but Im feeling that my fear is slowly going away.   Constant practice! Constant reassurance! Constant LOVE! and most of all a positive attitude, I have to imagine myself in the Pose!

Heart....

Image found on internet : loriandrus.wordpress.com

Always remember that Nature refuses to be rushed. She can only be made to evolve and that takes time, so take heart."  Sri Dharma Mittra

It's about the second week in January 2016.  Holidays are over.  Grief still lingers.  Winter is still here.   I'm back on the mat regularly and attending the classes at Honest Yoga.  I'm still feeling under prepared to teach my upcoming Kids Yoga Class, but I'm going to give it a shot.  I arrived at the studio, and was relieved to find Danielle there, I thought I would be on my own at least I can look for guidance or ask for help if I needed it.  Kids Yoga class lasts for about 45min with a structured beginning, sun salutations, middle can be mixed up a bit and the ending is usually the same.   What happened over the course of the next 45min was just all over the place!  I really felt like I was a comedian on stage and my act was bombing! One kid kept running out to eat snacks, the other kid wanted to play with Danielle's son.  I just didn't know what to do.  I was lost.  I just wanted to crawl under a mat and disappear!  I waited for Danielle to give me some tips/pointers about what went wrong (some right) after the class.    Her critique was good, and gave me some pointers.  I'm still not convinced that I want to teach children. 

I talked with my husband on the way home from his work that day and told him what happened.  He pretty much laughed a little at me and said, "give me a break!" and went on to reassure me that what just happened, happens to everyone, until they really learn what they are doing.  Similar to the quote above by Dharma, he was pretty much telling me to "take heart" and be patient with myself, there's that word again "Patient"!  I felt a lot better after that conversation, but still didn't feel prepared to teach until I sit in on a few more classes,  take notes,  and go over the notes from class.    I really did not have time to focus or give the Kids Yoga my full attention.  

I guess it goes back to the eye opening revelation I had earlier this year when I heard those same words about the basic poses "preparing you for the more advanced poses" you have to start somewhere and it only will evolve and improve with time.  Lets hope this is the case with the Kids Yoga! 

Consistency...

"Everything depends on your mental attitude" ~ Sri Dharma Mittra

Experiencing any loss can take a lot out of anyone, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

How each of us cope may be different.  How each of us grieve is different.  I found the days after arriving back in Vermont feeling empty, emotionally exhausted and mentally drained.    I got back to work soon after that and also realized that I had let my daily yoga practice slip, probably at the time I needed it the most.  I had come to peace with letting go and accepting death for what it is.  Its not the end.  My father's life will be remembered, he will be missed at card games, the memory of him will still be alive for years to come.

Finding myself back on the mat, still processing, realizing that even one week/10days away from the mat can almost reverse all my hard work.  Another reminder that CONSTANT practice is best!
Consistency should also exist in dietary habits.  Too much of one thing is not good, not enough of another etc, etc and so on.  Balance in flavors and a consistently fresh diet works the best for me.
The holidays were over, of course I indulged a little, maybe even a LOT!  I guess signing up for Dharma's Classes for the day after Christmas was not such a good idea after all.  I was stuffed, had some alcohol, sweets,  heavy foods and decided, maybe this was not a good time to go to class or maybe it was the BEST time, I'll never know, I decided to stay in Brooklyn.

Watching Dharma's DVD's over the years he often says "this is a basic pose, it prepares the body for the more advanced poses."  For years I had watched this DVD and heard him say this over and over.  It wasn't until earlier this year that it finally sunk in!  You need to "BE PATIENT with yourself" is what I kept hearing in my mind, but all I wanted to do was Full lotus, headstand, scorpion and all those beautiful poses you see on Instagram, often frustrated when I was unable to do them. Really?! you expected to get into those poses without working for them?! What I've learned is you really need to be PATIENT, Be CONSISTENT, and most of all Honor your own progress and journey.  I found when I relaxed into the pose and understood that nobody gets there overnight, I began to enjoy yoga with a new understanding.   I began to have a new respect for practice, for diligence and for patience (something I'm still working on).  Like Dharma says above, "Everything depends on your mental attitude" believe me, it does!  

Life....

Abhinivesah = Clinging to bodily life. 

Its now around Thanksgiving beginning of December and I had completed some of the Kids Yoga Teacher Training (KYTT).  After attending the first weekend of training, I was really glad that I was signed up for Dharma Yoga, because I felt as though I really needed to know the poses, how to do partner poses and also learn the alignment.  I felt a little overwhelmed, there is a LOT to know. Teaching Kids/Tweens yoga was a little different than adult yoga, there's a lot more "play" involved but also a need for structure and consistency.   I was still interested and excited about where yoga was leading me.  Am I taking this course so that I find out that this is absolutely what I do NOT want to do? or is this guiding me into a whole other direction that I never imagined?

On the day I was scheduled to teach my first Kids Yoga class (ages 4-11) I received a call from my Sister.   She went on to say that my Father was not well, he lives in Ireland and she was letting me know they had "found something" in a chest xray.  My dad is 84yrs old and has been through many treatments over the past 4-5yrs ranging from Double hip replacement, triple bipass, abdominal aortic aneurysm, each one he has triumphantly survived.  This time felt different, the call left me with a bad feeling about this whole thing.  Needless to say, I did not teach this class this day.  The next few days were a blur and a text from my sister saying that Dad "took a turn for the worse" just confirmed the need to go to Ireland NOW.  We flew to Dublin, got the rental car and were well on our way to see him when I called my sister to let her know what time we would arrive, not at all expecting what was next.  She went on to let me know that he had passed away peacefully last night, surrounded by all those he was close to over the years.  I was heartbroken.  Nothing prepares you for this.  Nothing anyone can say or do will make anything better.  I was staring out the car window at the very green Irish landscape.  The most magical rainbow appeared and the colors were just so vibrant against the dramatic sky.  Everything felt surreal.

All his life, he was afraid of the "c" word - Cancer. They had found a small mass in his lung and the biopsy confirmed it was small cell Lung Cancer.  I think once my father heard that diagnosis, he pretty much just said - That's it, I'm out of here!  or as he used to say "That's it! in the box!" pointing to the ground.    It was very soon after he received the news that his health rapidly declined, like within 24hrs of hearing that news.  Talk about clinging to life - "Abhinivesah" - he pretty much let go.  He was ready.   Sadly, none of us were.  I guess Abhinivesah can also be for those who are grieving, time to let go and know, it was his time, he had a great life, he will be missed and he never wanted to have a long drawn out death.

The next few days everything seemed to just flow - funeral arrangements, flowers, the wake, a variety of handshakes expressing condolences, church, pub, tea, sandwiches, hot whiskeys, lots of stories, punctuated with laughter and remembering my father.  He was well known, an avid 25-card game player and quite the character!  We left Ireland shortly after the burial and made our way back home to VT.  One thing I learned about grief..... its sneaky!  Just when you think you are OK, you are NOT!    After a day of rest and long naps, I passed my messy desk and realized I needed to get back to work, the desk wasn't going to clean itself, emails were not going to be answered unless I did that myself.... Life goes on.....

Acceptance.....

Taken from : weheartit.com

Shortly after emailing my application to Dharma Yoga, I drove back to Vermont, all the while thinking "what did I just do?"!  I arrived home and decided to dig through some books on Yoga that I had purchased over the years.  One of which was the Hatha Yoga Pradipika.  I laughed a little because I remembered the time I purchased this back in 2003 from a little shop in Jackson Heights, NYC.  I remember flipping through it on the 7-train on my way home and finding the page with the illustration of Vastra Dhauti (cloth cleansing) and thinking to myself,  "NO WAY am I going to do that!"  For those of you who know nothing about what Vastra Dhauti is here is the Definition found in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika : "A Strip of cloth, four angulas wide (i.e. seven to eight centimeters) and fifteen handspans (i.e. one and a half meters) in length is slowly swallowed and then taken out, as instructed by the guru.  This is known as Dhauti."  I also flipped through to see other various illustrations of cleansing techniques and thought that if this is what it takes to be a Yogi, I dont think I can do this.  I guess, I still have to find out if I will ever do this, but this was my initial thoughts on what a Yogi is.

What happened over the next few weeks was just a huge wave of saying "yes" to everything.  I was in class in Savasana in Honest yoga and at the end of class the teacher usually says some inspiring quote or poem.   This day, as I lay there, I could see (in my mind) my teachers face and her mouth moving to the words of inspiration she was saying, only that her mouth was changing to various children's mouths/smiles/teeth and it was strange.  When we said our final OM, the teacher announced an upcoming training "Childrens/teens Yoga teacher training" What? how weird was that?   I felt a sense of excitement about the announcement.  I'm not sure if it was the full moon, hormones, or what, but I was thinking "Hmm, Kids Yoga, I would have never thought of doing that!" but here I am excited about it.  I went home and discussed this with my husband, who only encouraged me to just "Do it!" 

I received an email stating that I was accepted to the Dharma Yoga 200HR YTT in February 2016 and received the list of books to read and homework.    Accepted? wait! what? Will I be ready?  What is going on? Where is this leading me to?  Here I am also signing up for a Kids YTT.  I was excited and nervous all at once.  I had homework for both trainings and had lots of reading to complete.  I knew I wanted to give both of them my best attention. I guess this is when Yoga really needs to help, I needed to focus and have the ability to remain calm and not get stressed out.   I was worried about the financial, emotional, physical and mental strain and just hoped that YOGA would be the support I needed to get me through it all. 

Commitment to yoga...

Here I am, one month after discovering Honest Yoga and attending classes everyday.  I was committed to healing my arm/shoulder and improve my posture and breathing. I needed to make this a priority in my life and not offer excuses anymore.   What was happening was that I was committing myself to Yoga.   Committing myself to myself.   As a Massage Therapist, I have provided care to many clients over the years, often, forgetting about myself.  I mean, who wants a burned out Massage Therapist in pain? So, I made the commitment to do this for myself, my clients and my work that I love, to be able to provide massage for years to come.   I was finally feeling better after all the different therapies and exercises, Yoga seemed to be putting it all together.

Over the years, if you have been a client of mine, you might have listened to me recommend yoga at least once a week "for stretching."  What I'm learning is that Yoga is much much more than "stretching" your muscles.   I am experiencing a greater sense of focus, calm and less reactive to things.  I'm also learning that it really does take a good teacher to bring you to that place of deep healing, inner awareness and stillness.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this blog, my love affair with yoga began in the year 2000.  I encountered some great teachers at Dharma Yoga in NYC and often found myself thinking back to that space, the teachers, the style and also Dharma.  I never actually attended a class with Dharma when I was living in NYC because he mostly taught the "master" class and I heard the people who went to that class were mostly yoga teachers.  However, I still remember him saying to me "Come in and try for yourself" and remember waiting for the beginners class to start one day seeing him interact with students and he was a very humble guy.   Unlike some well known yoga teachers who seem to function from Ego.  Dharma seemed to be the "real deal."  The yoga at Dharma Yoga is classical Hatha Yoga with breathing techniques, asanas, chanting, discussion of yogic lifestyle and often the harmonium was played.  I found myself still wanting to do a Yoga Teacher training, it just seemed to be calling me.   I was now feeling more confident that with more practice, I may in fact, be ready for Dharma 200Hr YTT in February, 2016.

I continued going to Honest Yoga regularly and in the midst of my thoughts of doing a training and where this was all leading me, how could I incorporate yoga into my existing clientele etc.  I decided to just apply to Dharma Yoga.  I had already written the essay for the application back in 2014, just never sent it.  I was visiting a friend in Maine one weekend in November, and found myself revising the essay as I drank coffee in her living room.  Before you know it, I had paid the application fee and emailed the required essay and documents.   It took me all morning to remember "how" that just happened, it just seemed flow that way.  I was nervous, excited, scared and not sure what was happening.  Did I really just apply? after all these years? Maybe I was low on sugar, did I eat breakfast? All these thoughts were running through my head.  Then, because we were close to the beach, I decided to go for a walk by the ocean.   There is just something about the sound of waves that grounds me.  I went to the beach, took a short walk and sat there for a bit, sun was shining, waves were crashing on the ground and it all felt just "right," everything felt perfect, even the decision to send that application!

Honestly Yoga...

It's September 2015 and my decision to try Honest Yoga here in Vermont,  was one made with the intention of preparing myself for Dharma Yoga Teacher training.   I attended my first class not knowing what to expect.  It was a relatively warm September here in VT and I was unaware that this class was a heated class until I was in the room.  I'm thinking to myself "hmm, I'm just going to melt to pieces here" and "had I known this was a hot yoga class, I probably would have stayed at home" these were thoughts in my head as I lay on my mat waiting for class to begin.   What happened in the next hour was exactly what I was looking for!  Danielle, who was trained by Dharma, lead the class through a series of poses, queuing clear directions to transition us to the next pose with breath and most of all intention.  She reminded us throughout the class to "let go of something" in the pose.  Let go of something? I felt like I wanted to let go of everything! Tension, emotions, thoughts, anger, fear, you name it, it was all coming up on that mat that day.  Did I let go of something? YES!  Did I gain a better awareness of "who" I am and who I needed to be? YES! Was it because Danielle's ques or clear communication of how to get into the pose allowed me to go deeper? Was it the music? or was it the fact I was actually on a mat, in a hot yoga class, and enjoying every single minute of it? YES to all!
When I walked out of the class in a daze, processing what just happened in there.  Danielle let me know that there was a new student deal of $50month unlimited (vs. $18per class). Pretty sweet deal! So I got the unlimited monthly deal and thought to myself, "self, if you just go to three classes, it pretty much pays for itself."  I had to go sit in my car for about 10min before I was able to drive home that day, release of toxins flooding my system.  I'm also sure my body was saying "what the hell just happened!"  From that day,  I went to class everyday for the next month, sometimes twice a day if I had the time or missed a day.  Its hot yoga but not 100+degrees, the room is kept at about 85-90degrees, so its tolerable.  Another plus to Honest Yoga is that their studio is CLEAN! and I mean clean, like not smelly like a locker room!   Overall, I felt good knowing that I had found a studio I liked AAAND Danielle was trained by Dharma, so attending these classes can prepare me for Yoga Teacher training if I ever got around to doing it.
What I have learned in that month about yoga and asana is that it IS practice!  All these amazing yogis in these beautiful poses you see on instagram, they didnt just wake up one day and take a photo, that might be the result of YEARS of practice.  I really wanted to start a blog to let people know that YOGA IS PRACTICE! it is constant practice!  What I'm also learning is that Yoga is more than the pose.  Its mental, physical, emotional and therapeutic on all levels.   I'm realizing I'm not as reactive to peoples' actions or words and am finding a deeper peace within myself.

Continued from  : January 20th, 2016.

I decided to follow this guy up the stairs and it was two very long flights to the third floor, straight up.  I entered the studio and immediately felt a sense of "home" or "this is it!" so to speak.
It was exactly what I was envisioning what a yoga studio should feel like, look like and be.   I went in, picked up a flyer, and signed up for the beginners course.   I began to attend regular classes there for a while, until life, work and scheduling became harder to fit yoga classes in.   I purchased their DVD and tried to have a home practice for the times I couldn't make it into class.  My home practice varied from a daily practice to just actually lying in Savasana and listening to the DVD.  Like I said, I've had a love affair with my yoga practice over the years, some weeks I practiced everyday and not again for months.

Where is all this leading to? well, after moving to Vermont in 2009, I really didn't want to start that search for a yoga studio again, because I felt like I really found yoga at Dharma Yoga.  When you find something that's "just right" its often hard to find something that can compare to that.
I did try a few studios here in VT, and found I was in the same predicament again, like my first search in NYC.   So, I began my practice at home again using the DVD's and found that I really really needed a teacher to advance further and to make sure my alignment is right.  Nothing can replace a good Yoga Teacher!

I began looking into studying at Dharma Yoga and part of the prerequisite for their 200hr YTT is that you attend 50hrs of classes by someone who was taught by Dharma or use the DVD's.  I just knew, if I just used the DVD's, I'd be less prepared for an intensive training.   I searched and found only one person here, who ended up moving to San Fransisco, so I put Yoga on the back shelf for a while because travelling back and forth to NYC to attend classes was just not an option.

After a while, Yoga kept calling me.  Anytime I felt tired, sore, achy, in pain, I kept hearing "Do YOGA!" in my head.  So, I began to look into Dharma Yoga teachers near me and finally found someone at Honest Yoga.   Its now September, 2015 and as I described in the beginning, I was in pain from a job that I LOVE.   Faced with the fear of "what now?" after years of doing Massage I was freaking out about what I would be able to do in years to come.  What if I cant do massage anymore? what's next? what kind of job can I have that still offers me the same schedule and flexibility, ability to help others, see them grow and help alleviate pain.   Naturally, Yoga was an option.

I went into Honest Yoga for my first class in September of 2015.
To be continued...

On the way...

WARNING: I'm not an English major.  If you see mistakes in grammar & spelling etc.  Please feel free to be the first to receive my next post so you may edit my work before I publish. (send me an email).  This of course is not a paid position.  I will kindly do yoga in your honor.   With love, Eileen. 

I'll make a long story short.  I moved to Burlington in 2009 and lets just say, things didn't pan out how we had imagined.  I've been working as a massage therapist for the past 10yrs and this past April was suffering from pain in my hands, arm, neck etc. It was diagnosed as an "overuse" injury.  I  saw several different practitioners for treatment - Acupuncture, chiropractic, Osteopathic, Massage, PT, rolfing, EFT, and others.   I took the recommendations from the various practitioners on exercises and other daily activity modifications to minimize pain.   Nothing seemed to help for longer than 2-3 days.  This is when I decided to practice yoga again.

Like many people, I go through phases of practicing yoga / exercise &  eating well regularly for months, then, start eating heavier rich foods,  wine and not a lot of yoga practice.   This time was different.  I was fed up, frustrated with being in pain, questioning my work and body mechanics and was determined to "fix" this.  I had been practicing yoga over the years at home, following a DVD.  Some days I found that I would FF the dvd, or just lie in savasana for longer than prompted by the instructor on the DVD.  I decided I really needed to find a class near me that I liked.   Not just any class either! I wanted a good class..

I'll rewind a little and let you know that my love affair with Yoga began in 2000-2003 I was on a quest to find my "calling" I had been a waitress for many years and knew I needed to do something else.  I love people.  I love talking. I love helping others.
I had found a yoga studio near me in Queens and began going regularly.  It was not traditional yoga like Hatha yoga but more of a mish/mash of several types of techniques - yoga, tai chi, martial arts, meditation, etc.  I decided this is what I wanted to do, so I signed up to become an instructor.   Later finding out that you could only teach in "their" studios and the training itself was held in Arizona which flights/accommodations etc were all extra on top of the $10-15,000.  A good friend tried to persuade me that maybe a traditional style yoga would be better and that I can teach that anywhere.  I was reluctant to start a new search for a yoga studio that I liked.

I began searching for a yoga studio in NYC and went from place to place.  Some studios, I didnt even make it in the front door, because it just didint "feel right".  I guess instinct, intuition or just a sense that this place was NOT what I was looking for.  I felt a little like goldilocks :studios were too smelly, too pretentious, too expensive, not the right location, class times didnt work, disliked the style, disliked the teacher etc.  Until one day, I was walking on 3rd avenue and passed this place called Dharma Yoga, it was on the top floor of a walk-up, I passed it frequently and decided to look at their schedule.  I stopped to read the schedule and this gentleman saw me and said "Come in and try for yourself!" This man was about late 50's/60yrs old and just went up the stairs.  I thought to myself, even if I don't like the place, I'll get a workout just walking up the stairs!

to be continued.....