Heart....

Image found on internet : loriandrus.wordpress.com

Always remember that Nature refuses to be rushed. She can only be made to evolve and that takes time, so take heart."  Sri Dharma Mittra

It's about the second week in January 2016.  Holidays are over.  Grief still lingers.  Winter is still here.   I'm back on the mat regularly and attending the classes at Honest Yoga.  I'm still feeling under prepared to teach my upcoming Kids Yoga Class, but I'm going to give it a shot.  I arrived at the studio, and was relieved to find Danielle there, I thought I would be on my own at least I can look for guidance or ask for help if I needed it.  Kids Yoga class lasts for about 45min with a structured beginning, sun salutations, middle can be mixed up a bit and the ending is usually the same.   What happened over the course of the next 45min was just all over the place!  I really felt like I was a comedian on stage and my act was bombing! One kid kept running out to eat snacks, the other kid wanted to play with Danielle's son.  I just didn't know what to do.  I was lost.  I just wanted to crawl under a mat and disappear!  I waited for Danielle to give me some tips/pointers about what went wrong (some right) after the class.    Her critique was good, and gave me some pointers.  I'm still not convinced that I want to teach children. 

I talked with my husband on the way home from his work that day and told him what happened.  He pretty much laughed a little at me and said, "give me a break!" and went on to reassure me that what just happened, happens to everyone, until they really learn what they are doing.  Similar to the quote above by Dharma, he was pretty much telling me to "take heart" and be patient with myself, there's that word again "Patient"!  I felt a lot better after that conversation, but still didn't feel prepared to teach until I sit in on a few more classes,  take notes,  and go over the notes from class.    I really did not have time to focus or give the Kids Yoga my full attention.  

I guess it goes back to the eye opening revelation I had earlier this year when I heard those same words about the basic poses "preparing you for the more advanced poses" you have to start somewhere and it only will evolve and improve with time.  Lets hope this is the case with the Kids Yoga!